Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling

You feel like you barely speak the same language anymore. There are so many days you feel like you can’t even be in the same room together or the tension will reach a breaking point. You feel like you’re failing one another day after day. There’s no “getting on the same page” because you’re writing completely different books.

How long has our relationship been this way?

As you think about it, you realize it’s been this way for a while. You can’t think of the last time you woke up, looking forward to spending the day with your partner. In fact, you struggle to identify a time it felt like the two of you operated your way through a problem as a PAIR, a TEAM, a DYNAMIC DUO. You certainly can’t identify the last time you spent time in one another’s company and actually belly-laughed, feeling gratitude all the way to your bones that the person next to you is your partner.

Couples Therapy or Marriage Counseling in St. Louis May Be Right For You

Some days the state of your relationship has you feeling empty — you’re too worn out from all of your trying. Other days, it fills you with despair that your relationship has gotten to this. The embarrassment that you can’t figure it out shows up on occasion. Anger shows its ugly head. Shame. Grief. It’s all there.

When Is It Time to Start Marriage Counseling or Couples Therapy?

That question is sometimes asked like this: “what are the signs that a marriage is falling apart?”

It can be hard to answer this in a numbers based way. It’s not about the number of fights you’ve had or how long you’ve felt distant from one another. It’s not about nights slept in separate rooms or days with the silent treatment. 

But, you can consider some of the following signs, and if those are symptoms of the current state of your relationship, then it’s a good time to start marriage counseling with a trained couples therapist. 

Even if you’re just in a rough patch, don’t you want that patch to be over sooner rather than later? Even if it isn’t “that” bad, but it’s bad enough that you want it to be better, you deserve that better! 

Oh and yes: we will be able to help. We’ll get to that part soon.

If you find yourself experiencing one or more of these issues in your marriage or relationship, you may want to consider speaking with a couples therapist.

Can My Marriage Be Saved?

Yes! And if you’ve come here, you probably feel like it can be. There’s some hope you have: hope that it can be better. Hope that with the right toolkit, you can right your (relation)ship. Hope that the two of you can return to a place where things work in tandem; that you enjoy the heck out of one another’s company; and that you feel respected, supported, and loved in your relationship and by your partner. And that hope is driving you to this place: couples and marriage therapy.

You’ll have to use some patience, and some time, and do some hard communicating, but with a Marble Wellness marriage and couples therapist sitting across from you, it can be done!

Is Couples Therapy Worth It?

Couples therapy can be a transformative experience for many relationships. It offers a safe space for partners to explore their feelings, enhance communication, and resolve conflicts. Couples receive guidance about how to understand each others’ emotions and perspectives differently and better. In therapy, they learn and come to understand formative experiences that made their partner who they are, and receive the same understanding and insight in return Many couples find that therapy helps them reconnect and strengthens their bond. 

All of these positives can happen whether you’ve been married 1 year or 20+. Couples therapy can even be worth it for people who are dating or newly engaged. By addressing issues early, therapy can prevent further deterioration of the relationship, making it a worthwhile investment in your emotional well-being and future together.

Does Marriage Counseling Prevent Divorce?

Marriage counseling can be a powerful tool in preventing divorce, but it’s important to understand how and why it works. While no therapy can guarantee that a couple will stay together, marriage counseling provides a supportive environment to address underlying issues, improve communication, and rebuild trust.

Sometimes, couples come to therapy and realize that divorce is the best outcome for their relationship. This realization can be frightening and may make a couple or one partner not want to even start couples therapy, but it doesn’t mean that marriage counseling isn’t worth it. A skilled marriage therapist will always work to help the couple reach their relationship goals. However, there are times when it becomes evident that the healthiest option for both partners is to separate. In such cases, therapy can still play a crucial role. It can help make the divorce process more gentle and respectful, ensuring that both partners feel heard and understood.

Marriage counseling can also provide couples with a sense of closure and peace of mind.

By working with a couples therapist, couples can feel confident that they tried everything possible to save their relationship. This can alleviate feelings of guilt or regret later on. Additionally, therapy can help partners navigate the emotional complexities of divorce, allowing them to part ways with a mutual understanding and respect. This is especially important if there are children involved, as a peaceful separation can significantly impact their well-being.

Ultimately, marriage counseling is about finding the best path forward for both partners. Whether that means staying together and strengthening the relationship, or deciding to part ways, therapy provides the support and guidance needed to make informed, compassionate decisions. Even if divorce becomes the chosen path, the skills and insights gained through therapy can help both individuals move forward in a healthy and positive way.

What to Talk About in Couples Counseling?

The answer here is not quite “you can talk about anything!” but it’s pretty close. In couples counseling, it’s essential to focus on topics that foster understanding and growth. You might already know pretty specifically what you need and/or want to talk about. In other instances, you know you want to start therapy, but are looking for a little more guidance. That’s where your therapist will be even more helpful: after an initial intake, they’ll make a plan with you, identify some goals, and provide a roadmap to get there. But here are some key areas that often get talked about in couples therapy:

Couples and Marriage Therapy Can Help With Your Stress!

The Marble Wellness Approach to Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling in St. Louis

Couples and marriage therapy will help you get clear communication strategies to use in the present and the future. It will help both of you shift your perspective from “me vs. you” to “me and you”. You’ll learn to re-center the organism that is your relationship in your daily lives and gain ways to work on the relationship, without that work feeling like a constant grind. Through couples therapy, you’ll get to a place where you can talk to each other productively again. A place where there are more peaks than valleys. And, a place where your relationship restores you at the end of a hard day, instead of drains you even at the end of a good day.

Our marriage counselors use a variety of techniques in their work with you. After they get to know you, your partner, your relationship obstacles, and your goals, they will tailor interventions to help you meet those goals.

Our couples therapists pull these techniques from various evidence-based therapy methodologies:

The Gottman Method

The Gottman Method focuses on building a deep emotional connection between partners. Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this approach uses research-based interventions to improve communication, manage conflict, and enhance intimacy. It emphasizes understanding each other’s needs and fostering a strong friendship within the relationship.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) is designed to help couples strengthen their emotional bond. By exploring underlying emotions and patterns, EFT encourages partners to express their needs and vulnerabilities. This approach helps build trust and security, allowing couples to create a more connected and resilient relationship.

It may sound a little intimidating to think through doing this, especially if you and your partner really aren’t in such a great spot right now. But our therapists can help you feel both safe and honest and ready enough that this becomes a very valuable and welcome intervention. 

Family Systems Therapy

Family Systems therapy views the couple as part of a larger network of relationships. It explores how family dynamics and past experiences influence current behavior and interactions. By understanding these patterns, couples can develop healthier ways to communicate and resolve conflicts, ultimately improving their relationship within the broader family context.

How Couples Counseling at Marble Wellness Can Help

At Marble Wellness, we believe that every relationship has the potential for growth and healing. Our experienced therapists are dedicated to helping couples work through their challenges and build a stronger, more resilient bond. Here’s what you can expect from our couples counseling sessions:

• Safe and Supportive Environment: Our counseling sessions provide a safe space where both partners can express their thoughts and feelings without fear of judgment. Open communication is encouraged, allowing for honest and constructive dialogue.
• Improved Communication Skills: Effective communication is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. We teach couples practical techniques to improve their communication, helping them to listen actively, express themselves clearly, and resolve conflicts amicably.
• Conflict Resolution Strategies: Learn how to navigate disagreements in a healthy and productive manner. Our therapists guide couples in identifying the root causes of their conflicts and developing strategies to address them constructively.
• Rebuilding Trust: Rebuilding trust after it has been broken is a challenging but essential process. We support couples in understanding the underlying issues, fostering forgiveness, and taking concrete steps towards rebuilding a trustworthy foundation.
• Enhancing Emotional Intimacy: Strengthen your emotional connection by exploring ways to foster intimacy and vulnerability with your partner. Our sessions focus on helping couples reconnect on a deeper emotional level.
• Customized Approaches: Every relationship is unique, and so are the challenges it faces. Our therapists tailor their approaches to meet the specific needs and dynamics of each couple, ensuring personalized and effective support.
• Practical Tools and Techniques: Equip yourself with practical tools and techniques to navigate future challenges and maintain a healthy relationship. From stress management to effective problem-solving, we provide couples with the resources they need for long-term success.

Begin Couples Therapy and Marriage Counseling in St. Louis, MO

Your relationship doesn’t have to stay stuck. Couples and marriage therapy in St. Louis may be your solution! Through couples therapy, you will focus on your relationship or marriage together. Or, at least start working on being more thoughtful about each other. Luckily, in our Ballwin, MO counseling clinic, we can help. We can also chat via telehealth for online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. Truly, anywhere in the state! If you’re a Chicago resident, we have in-person therapy available in Chicago, too! Taking this first step is a big deal, so you are already making great progress! Just follow these simple steps and we will get started.

Other Mental Health Services at Marble Wellness

At Marble Wellness, our goal is simple: Counseling services designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Our maternal mental health specialists can also help new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.