Grief Counseling

The pain you’re feeling is quite literally unimaginable and indescribable. You can barely move. It takes a herculean effort to do normal things like shower. Make yourself something to eat. Focus long enough to get through a quick Target run.

Sometimes, you realize it’s hard to even catch your breath. And the tears that come whenever they want…you’re not even feeling up to the task of managing those.

The Grieving Process Has Taken Over

Your loved one has died and you feel shaken, exhausted, and overwhelmed. There are days you feel numb. Isolated. Utterly alone. Not just because your loved one isn’t here anymore, but also because it’s hard to communicate to anyone the unique loss you’re experiencing. Even if other people in your life are feeling the same loss, your pain feels so different.

Some days, you may find a moment of laughter or happiness — a glimpse of your former self — and then you feel guilty for feeling “normal” for a minute.

Anger, Grief, and Loss

Recognizing the Symptoms of Grief

Grief manifests in a multitude of ways, and it can affect every aspect of your life.

Emotionally, you may experience intense sadness, crying spells, anger, guilt, or feelings of helplessness and despair. These emotions can come in waves, sometimes unexpectedly, and might be triggered by reminders of your loved one, like their favorite song or a significant date. You might also feel numb or detached from your surroundings, struggling to connect with others or find joy in activities you once enjoyed.

Physically, grief can take a toll on your body. Common symptoms include fatigue, changes in appetite, difficulty sleeping, and a weakened immune system. You might experience headaches, stomach aches, or muscle pain without any clear medical cause. These physical symptoms can make it challenging to perform daily tasks or maintain your usual routines. Cognitive symptoms such as trouble concentrating, forgetfulness, and confusion are also common, making it hard to focus on work or make decisions.

Behaviorally, you might notice changes in your habits and social interactions. Some people withdraw from social activities, preferring isolation over the company of others, while others might seek constant companionship to avoid being alone with their thoughts. You might find yourself avoiding places or activities that remind you of your loved one or, conversely, seeking out these reminders as a way to feel closer to them. Understanding these symptoms and recognizing that they are a normal part of the grieving process can be the first step toward healing and finding ways to cope with your loss.

Will this grieving process ever end? Can you ever feel better after this loss?

You know you’re ready to stop feeling the way you do, but you’re not even quite sure how you want to feel. You don’t want to forget your loved one; you don’t want to lose connection to them; you don’t want to backfill their place in your life. But you are pretty sure you want to be able to move a little more easily. You’d like to be able to focus on a task in its entirety. You want to leave the all-consuming anger behind.

You’re also ready to think about other things, at least sometimes. To be out and about with friends and to be present in the conversation and happenings. To get your sleep back. And some normal energy levels. You’re ready to unshackle yourself from your grief.

Grief Counseling in St. Louis Can Help You Heal

How Do We Do That? What Does Grief Counseling Look Like?

Grief counseling doesn’t look the same for everyone. Some people have time to prepare for the death of their loved one. In other cases, the death is sudden, an absolute surprise.

Your relationship to and with the person who died can be a considerable factor in how some of our sessions will look.

Did things get left unsaid? Had you seen your loved one recently? Was it a family member or a coworker or a neighbor or a friend? All of those relationships are incredible relationships in our lives. But the type of relationship changes the fabric of how they are interwoven in our daily experience and gets consideration in the counseling experience. How old was your loved one who died and who did they leave behind? What life did they have in front of them?

Beyond those answers, there are approaches, interventions, and techniques that our Marble Wellness therapists pull from to help you process your grief and start to be able to move forward. 

Techniques and Interventions Grief Therapists Use to Help Clients

Talk Therapy

Talk therapy, or psychotherapy, is a fundamental component of grief counseling. Through regular conversations, the therapist provides a safe, supportive space for clients to express their feelings, share memories, and articulate their grief. This process helps clients understand and process their emotions, facilitating healing.

Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT)

CBT helps clients identify and challenge negative thought patterns that can exacerbate their grief. By restructuring these thoughts, clients can develop healthier coping mechanisms. For example, a therapist might work with a client to replace thoughts of self-blame with more compassionate, realistic perspectives.

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques

Mindfulness practices, such as meditation and deep breathing exercises, help clients stay grounded in the present moment. These techniques can reduce anxiety and stress, making it easier for clients to manage their grief. Relaxation techniques like progressive muscle relaxation can also help alleviate physical symptoms of grief.

Expressive Arts Therapy

Expressive arts therapy encourages clients to use creative outlets like drawing, painting, or writing to express their grief. This can be particularly beneficial for those who find it challenging to articulate their feelings verbally. Art can serve as a powerful medium for processing and understanding emotions.

Our therapists particularly enjoy a technique called sandtray therapy. Sandtray therapy is a powerful, non-verbal therapeutic technique often used to help individuals process deep emotions, including grief. It involves the use of a sandbox and a collection of miniature figures, objects, and symbols. Clients are encouraged to create scenes or “worlds” in the sand, which can reveal inner thoughts, feelings, and experiences that might be difficult to express with words.

We actually wrote a whole blog on Expressive Arts Therapy to read!

Narrative Therapy

In narrative therapy, clients are encouraged to tell their story of loss and grief. This approach helps them make sense of their experiences and find meaning in their loss. By re-authoring their story, clients can gain a sense of control and direction.

Grief Rituals

Grief rituals can provide a structured way for clients to honor their loved ones and navigate significant dates or anniversaries. Therapists might help clients develop personal rituals, such as lighting a candle, visiting a special place, or creating a memory box.

Psychoeducation

Psychoeducation involves teaching clients about the grieving process, helping them understand that their feelings and reactions are normal. This knowledge can be comforting and empowering, reducing feelings of isolation and confusion.

Support Groups

Therapists might recommend or facilitate support groups where clients can connect with others who are also grieving. Sharing experiences with peers can provide validation, reduce feelings of loneliness, and offer new coping strategies.

Behavioral Activation

This technique involves encouraging clients to engage in activities they used to enjoy or to try new ones. By gradually reintroducing pleasurable or meaningful activities, clients can begin to rebuild a sense of normalcy and purpose.

Life Review and Legacy Work

Life review involves reflecting on the life of the deceased and the impact they had. Legacy work might include creating a scrapbook, writing letters to the deceased, or making a donation in their name. These activities help clients honor their loved one’s memory and find a sense of continuity.

We Will Get You Through This Grieving Process, Together.

One of the biggest pieces of grief counseling that makes it impactful is the idea of “together”. You have to do so much of the grief journey alone. Which is cruel because grief can already do such a powerful job of making you feel alone. But when you work with a grief therapist, you will have someone fully supporting you in this hard, awful thing you’re figuring out how to do: live without the person who died.

So, is Grief Counseling a Good Idea?

Begin Grief Counseling in St. Louis, MO

You don’t have to feel this level of pain forever. You can heal from this grief and move forward, honoring the life you’ve lost. Through therapy for grief and loss in our Ballwin, MO counseling clinic. We can also chat via telehealth for online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois.  Truly, anywhere in the state! If you’re a Chicago resident, we have in-person therapy available in Chicago, too! Taking this first step is a big deal, so you are already making great progress! Just follow these simple steps and we will get started.

Other Mental Health Services at Marble Wellness

At Marble Wellness, our goal is simple: Counseling services designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples,  and maternal overwhelm. Our therapists can also help new moms with various postpartum concerns,  moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.