Hey there, super-parents! We all know how amazing, yet challenging, it is to raise a child with autism or other developmental delays. You’re constantly on the go, juggling appointments, therapies, school meetings, and so much more.
While it’s natural to put your child’s needs first, it’s equally important to take care of yourself. Between all of those support service appointments; considerations for accommodations at school; doing mental gymnastics around so many logistics…your battery is drained.
Therapy can give you space to recharge. It can also do a lot more to address some of the unique challenges of raising a child with special needs. Because let’s be real: it’s an emotional journey, and it might be one you haven’t processed fully yet.
(And that part is normal, by the way. So often, as soon as parents receive a diagnosis for their child, they move immediately to get interventions set up and start taking care of all of the other tasks. Which means they haven’t slowed down to address the emotions that come with a diagnosis.)
Now, before I keep going off on tangents that I put in parentheses, let me just go ahead and in a straightforward way, list out ways therapy can be helpful to parents of children with autism and other development delays:
Therapy Can Help Special Needs Parents With Everyday Stress and Burnout
Caring for a child with special needs can be incredibly rewarding but also exhausting. The constant caregiving can lead to chronic stress and burnout. Think about it—you’re always on duty, and it’s only natural to feel worn out. Therapy provides a space to unload and recharge, helping you to manage stress better. In fact it may be one of the true places a parent has just for themselves for a length of time that can actually make a difference.
Coping With Grief and Adjustment to Parenting a Child With Autism
It’s okay to feel a sense of loss or sadness when your child’s development doesn’t follow the typical path you might have expected. Parents do a ton of dreaming when they first find out they are pregnant (with their first child or any child after that!) and those dreams usually have to look different once a diagnosis of any sort of developmental delay occurs.
Adjusting to this new reality takes time and emotional energy. Therapy can help you process these feelings, which may include anything and everything from overwhelm to anger to sadness to shock, and so much more. It can give you space to mourn the life you built in your head: your life as a parent; life as a family; and also the life you imagined for your child.
It can also give you the opportunity to build new expectations, dreams, and hopes for the future. We don’t want to sound hollowly Pollyanna, but it can also help you foster positive outlooks.
Tackling Anxiety and Depression in Therapy for Parents
Let’s face it—anxiety and depression can sneak up on the best of us, especially when faced with the uncertainties and demands of raising a child with developmental delays. Worrying about your child’s future and well-being is tough. It can even seem like a full-time job itself! A therapist can help you develop coping strategies to manage these feelings and reduce their impact on your daily life.
Keeping Important Relationships Strong
The stress of caregiving can put a strain on your relationships, whether it’s with your partner, family, or friends. You may often find yourself canceling get-togethers with your pals or having to cancel a date with your partner. Maybe family gatherings have become minefields and you find yourself having to stick closer to home.
Therapy offers tools to improve communication and resolve conflicts, ensuring your relationships remain strong and supportive.
Fighting Social Isolation as a Parent of a Child With Autism
Many parents feel isolated due to the unique challenges they face. Reduced social interactions and a lack of understanding from others can be lonely. Therapy can help you find ways to stay connected and build a support network of people who truly get what you’re going through.
For example, your therapist may help connect you with places like The Freddie Ford Foundation, a wonderful organization that hosts a variety of social events for families who have a child with autism.
Dealing With Unique Parenting Challenges
Managing challenging behaviors and developmental differences requires patience and skill. And those are typically amounts of patience you need to develop having and brand new skill sets you didn’t have on your radar.
Therapy provides practical strategies tailored to your child’s unique needs, making parenting a bit smoother and more enjoyable.
Often, the programs you have your child in have an element of parent coaching to them-which is great-but therapy allows for more depth; more nuanced interventions because the therapist is individually working with you, and allows you time to get through the hurdles of why some patience and some skill is taking a bit longer to develop than preferred!
Advocacy Fatigue as a Special Needs Parent
You’re constantly advocating for your child’s rights and services—within the school system, medical community, and beyond. It’s exhausting to keep pushing through bureaucratic obstacles. You’ll be no stranger to headaches from many of these meetings; rolling eyeballs in response to ignorance of some people; and utter disbelief at some of the incompetence you’ll come across.
Therapy can provide emotional support and strengthen your advocacy efforts. It can also just be a space to word vomit your frustration each time you need a safe space to blow off some steam, especially without worrying if you’re burdening the listener or “talking about this too much” like you might have the tendency to think in some friendships. (No shade to your friends! We just know what concerns people have when it comes to talking about certain topics.)
Whew, even listing out all of that took some energy! We hope that helps. Because we really do believe that you parents both deserve and need your own space for this part of your life.
But we’re not done! We also want to talk to you about another consideration to YOU being in therapy. Here it is!
How Therapy Helps You Help Your Child:
We kind of got you there, right? We know how parents think! It’s amazing how quickly we see parents green light support for their child, and hesitate for SO LONG when it comes to support for them. But as you’ve heard over and over, and certainly can’t be considered a dirty little secret: you receiving help—-yes, that helps your child.
And you’ve heard it before but we know it can take hearing several times:
When you’re mentally and emotionally healthy, you’re better equipped to handle the challenges and joys of raising your child.
Here’s how therapy for autism parents can make a difference:
1. Normalize and Validate Your Experience
First off, it’s important to know that feeling stressed, anxious, or exhausted is a completely normal response to your situation. You may judge yourself for it, especially as a parent who loves their child so deeply. But we’re going to take that therapy space and provide you SO much validation for those feelings.
2. Emphasize Self-Care
Therapists often use the “oxygen mask” analogy—you need to put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others. In other words, taking care of yourself is crucial to being there for your child in the long run.Therapy can be part of that self-care, but it’ll also be a space that will help you find other ways to incorporate self-care into your busy days. It’ll help you find permission, too, for those activities once you decide what the are
3. Practical Support and Strategies
Therapy isn’t just about talking; it’s about action. You’ll learn practical tools and strategies to manage daily challenges, from handling meltdowns to navigating school meetings. These strategies can range from calming techniques for yourself to communication techniques and so much more.
4. Create a Safe Space
Therapy offers a confidential and supportive environment where you can express your fears, frustrations, and hopes without judgment. It’s a place just for you. (We already kind of talked about this, but it’s such a vital part of the therapy experience, it was worth saying again.)
5. Highlight Long-Term Benefits
Addressing your mental health now can lead to more sustainable caregiving and a balanced family life. Your well-being has a direct impact on your child’s well-being and overall family dynamics.
Parent burnout is a real thing. Especially in life as we know it now—there’s a text thread for everything; a login with its unique password for everything on earth; so so so many emails; and just constant pressure.
Add the demands of parenting a child with special needs, and it is very easy to imagine how burnout can descend—even if you’re not always willing to acknowledge its presence.
Therapy can either help you recover or even help prevent it from happening. And THAT is absolutely worth it.
6. Encourage Small Steps
If the idea of therapy feels overwhelming, start small. Consider short, manageable sessions or support groups. There are also resources for low-cost or accessible mental health services if finances are a concern. But getting specific help just for you is the point!
Start Therapy in St. Louis for Parents of Children with Autism and Other Developmental Delays
Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Seeking therapy is a powerful step towards maintaining your own well-being and ensuring you can continue to support your child with love and strength. So, take a deep breath, give yourself some grace, and consider adding therapy to your self-care toolkit. You deserve it, and your family will benefit from it too.
Marble Wellness has a satellite office located in University City, within the offices of Blue Stars Therapy. Being located here allows us to offer therapy services to parents of children with autism and other developmental delays, as well as to others in the community looking for support in maternal mental health, men’s mental health, or other adults with anxiety, depression, or grief. If you have any questions or need guidance on finding a therapist who works with autism and special needs parents, please reach out to our team at Marble Wellness. We’re here to support you every step of the way!
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About the Author, Therapist Heidi Hubbard:
Heidi Hubbard is a full time, fully licensed therapist at Marble Wellness with over 10 years of experience in the therapy world. She has her Bachelors in Sociology, Masters in Professional Counseling, and is a LPC in the state of Missouri. She has training in trauma and approaches clients through a trauma lens. She provides therapy to youth, adults and families. She enjoys walking in the park with clients on nice days.
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St. Louis
Our St. Louis team of therapists has a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Our practice also helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
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Our Chicago team of therapists offers a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their lives. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we specialize in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.
