Apathy. It is probably one of the most concerning feelings for a relationship. When you get to the point of apathy in a marriage or relationship, it likely means that things are so bad that you’ve completely checked out. Right? Here is what apathy in a relationship sounds like:
“I just don’t care anymore.”
“It really doesn’t matter to me what happens next.”
“She/he can do whatever they want.”
Perhaps another way to illustrate apathy in relationships could be these lyrics from a Carly Pearce song with Chris Stapleton:
“I couldn’t make you jealous if I tried. You couldn’t care less if I stayed out all night.
I don’t even look into your eyes. ‘Cause the truth is I don’t even care if you’re lying.
In this bed we might as well be across the ocean tonight.
We don’t yell ’cause what the hell difference would it make?
We don’t cuss and we don’t care enough to even hate.
We could tear up the house, we could burn the whole thing down.
But boy what for?
‘Cause we don’t even fight anymore.
The only time we ever touch is in the hall. We talk about the weather if we talk at all.
If your phone rings in the middle of the night. I don’t even try to look to see who’s calling
I had a bad day but you don’t know it ’cause you don’t ask and I don’t show it…”
What does apathy in a relationship look like?
Now, am I saying that if you don’t fight, you’re no longer in love or were never in love in the first place? Of course not. But this song does demonstrate how passion of any sort, once extinguished, can lead to apathy. Sometimes, this will look like overt displays of affection and feel like lust and desire for your partner or in the relationship. Sometimes, this passion is displayed in heated–while still respectful–discussions and disagreements because you want to be heard and understood by your partner. (Hence, the title of the song, “We Don’t Fight Anymore”.)
How and when does apathy in a relationship happen?
Regardless of how the passion or love plays out in a particular relationship in a particular season, the key factor that indicates apathy is often a distinct change. Notice I didn’t use the word “sudden”, I said “distinct”. That simply means noticeable. And, all too often, this distinct change is noticed well after it started happening. The differences are subtle at first, creeping into life in sometimes relative innocuous or inconsequential ways. But, will eventually, without tending, result in relationship apathy.
Is apathy the end of a relationship?
Not necessarily, but it’s certainly a critical juncture that demands attention and action. Let’s explore this further and discuss ways to overcome apathy in relationships, particularly for couples in Lake St. Louis.
Understanding Apathy in Relationships
Apathy in relationships is like a slow-growing weed that, if left unchecked, can choke the life out of even the strongest partnerships. It’s characterized by a lack of emotional investment, decreased effort, and a general sense of indifference towards your partner and the relationship itself.
Signs of Apathy
- Emotional Disconnection: You no longer share your feelings or experiences with your partner.
- Lack of Effort: You stop trying to resolve conflicts or improve the relationship.
- Decreased Intimacy: Physical and emotional intimacy diminish significantly.
- Avoidance of Quality Time: You spend less time together and don’t prioritize your relationship.
The Impact of Apathy on Relationships
Apathy can have severe consequences on the emotional health of both partners and the overall quality of the relationship. It can lead to:
- Emotional distancing and loneliness
- Increased conflict and tension
- Loss of intimacy and connection
- Potential relationship breakdown
Overcoming Apathy in Relationships
While apathy can feel like an insurmountable obstacle, there are strategies that Lake St. Louis couples can employ to reignite the spark in their relationships:
1. Acknowledge the Problem
The first step is recognizing and accepting that apathy has crept into your relationship. This acknowledgment opens the door for positive change.
2. Communicate Openly and Honestly
Have a heart-to-heart conversation with your partner about your feelings and concerns. Be honest, but approach the discussion with empathy and without blame.
3. Rediscover Shared Interests
Engage in activities that you both enjoy. This could be as simple as taking a walk together in Lake St. Louis’s beautiful parks or trying a new restaurant in the area.
4. Prioritize Quality Time
Make a conscious effort to spend uninterrupted time together. Put away your phones, turn off the TV, and focus on each other.
5. Seek Professional Help
Consider couples therapy or relationship coaching. A professional can provide valuable insights and tools to help you navigate this challenging period5.
6. Practice Gratitude
Take time each day to appreciate your partner. Share these positive thoughts with them regularly.
7. Set New Goals Together
Create shared goals for your future. This could be planning a vacation, starting a new hobby together, or working towards a major life change.
The Role of Self-Care
While working on your relationship is crucial, don’t forget about self-care. Taking care of your own emotional and physical well-being can positively impact your relationship. The O’Fallon & Wentzville area offers numerous opportunities for self-care, from yoga classes to nature walks around Lake St. Louis.
Apathy Doesn’t Have to End Your Relationship
Apathy in relationships is a serious issue, but it doesn’t have to be the end. With commitment, effort, and sometimes professional help, couples around St. Charles County can overcome apathy and rebuild a strong, passionate relationship. Remember, every relationship goes through ups and downs. The key is to recognize when you’re in a down period and take active steps to climb back up together.
Start Couples Therapy in the Lake St. Louis Area
If you’re struggling with apathy in your relationship, don’t hesitate to reach out for help. At Marble Wellness, we’re here to support you on your journey to a healthier, happier relationship. Together, we can work towards rekindling the spark and building a stronger connection with your partner.
If you live in the St. Louis metro area and are ready to improve your mental health, our expert St. Louis area therapists are here to help. Not only do we have a team of therapists in Ballwin, MO, but we have also recently expanded to serve the Lake St. Louis and Wentzville area! Reach out to our Client Care Coordinator today to discuss your therapy options, both in-person and via online therapy in Missouri.
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Marble Wellness Counseling services are designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life. Our St. Louis area therapists have a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Our practice also helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri. No matter where you are in your journey, we are here to help you thrive!
