By: Imanii Uwakwe, Marble Wellness Therapist in Chicago, IL
Welcome to Part 2 of our Boundaries Blog Series! Quick refresh: boundaries are like standards and guidelines to define what is acceptable and what is not acceptable in our interactions with others. They help set the standard of how we expect to be treated. In addition to this, boundaries can relate to our physical space, emotions, thoughts, values, and time. In short, they serve as rules we create for healthy relationships and self-care.
Boundaries help us maintain a sense of safety, respect, and autonomy in our interactions with the world around us. Even though boundaries may come with a side of fear or even guilt, you can overcome these emotions. This usually involves developing self-awareness, practicing assertiveness skills, setting realistic expectations, and seeking support from trusted individuals or professionals. It’s something that will take practice and will not happen overnight. Always trust in yourself and your decisions. Boundaries are a good thing! Now, let’s break it down.
Boundaries serve as rules we create for healthy relationships and self-care.
Boundaries create a sense of emotional safety within relationships by ensuring that individuals feel comfortable expressing their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment or dismissal. This fosters a sense of closeness in relationships and a level of understanding and reciprocity. With self-care, setting and enforcing boundaries is an act of self-respect. Clear boundaries tell ourselves and others that we value our needs, feelings, and well-being, fostering a sense of self-worth and empowerment. Always remember that honoring your boundaries are for you and so that the other person can follow suit. It’s never a bad thing.
Boundaries help with a greater sense of self-awareness.
By learning what boundaries are, you begin to clearly understand what is important to you. You get to reflect further on what your values and non-negotiables are. In clarifying our boundaries, which includes lots of trial/error and learning/unlearning, we also gain tremendous insight into our emotions, likes and dislikes. They prompt us to reflect on what is truly important to us. And, what we are willing to tolerate in our interactions and relationships. Through the practice of setting boundaries, we become more attuned to how our interactions with others impact our emotions, energy levels, and overall well-being. This heightened awareness allows us to recognize patterns in our behavior and relationships, empowering us to make more intentional choices aligned with our values and priorities.
Boundaries help us maintain a sense of safety in our interactions.
Boundaries are the invisible fences we construct within our relationships to safeguard our well-being and maintain a sense of safety. They serve as guidelines that delineate acceptable behavior, communication, and interactions between individuals. It’s important to understand that although they can work as an invisible fence, it should not work as a guard and wall up to prevent us from experiencing relationships! By clearly defining our limits and preferences, we create a protective barrier against harm, abuse, and manipulation.
Establishing healthy boundaries may come with feelings of guilt.
It’s not uncommon to feel guilty when setting boundaries, especially if you’re not used to prioritizing your own needs and putting others before yourself. When feelings of guilt arise for you, be sure to acknowledge them without judgment, tapping into some mindfulness. During this time, it will be important for you to constantly remind yourself that making yourself a priority is not a selfish act, but instead it is necessary for your well-being. Don’t be scared to change your thought patterns behind boundary setting!
“I am implementing boundaries to curate healthier relationships.”
Feel free to use this an example to prompt those positive boundary-setting thought patterns!
Always remember that boundary setting takes practice. Just like the healing process, you will take 50 steps forward and sometimes 40 steps back; this does not diminish all of the learning and progress you have made!
Here are some affirmations for you as you consider and work through some of your boundaries:
- I communicate boundaries assertively.
- I trust my instincts to set boundaries.
- I prioritize my mental health by setting boundaries.
- I welcome boundaries as opportunities for growth.
- I am worthy of relationships that honor and respect my mental health and boundaries.
Start Therapy in Chicago’s West Loop
Ready to get started on your boundaries? Putting healthy boundaries in place can also lead to less anxiety, depression, and burnout. If you live in Chicago and are ready to improve your ability to set boundaries, we are here to help. We’ve got convenient hours, a lovely therapy location in the West Loop, and of course, we’re happy to meet you virtually with online therapy in Chicago. Let us know how we can help YOU thrive.
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Additional Counseling Services at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO and Chicago, IL
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St. Louis Therapy Services
Our St. Louis team of therapists has a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Also, our practice also helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
Chicago’s West Loop Therapy
Our Chicago team of therapists offers a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their lives. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we specialize in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.
