Parents these days are more stressed than ever. Now, if you are a parent reading this, you are probably thinking “Well, yeah! I already knew that.” I thought the same thing when hearing about this “new research”. In fact, we discussed all of this on KMOX today!
But…a little part of you may also be feeling validated and understood hearing this and digging into the reasons why. So, for you, let me explain and expand a bit further. We’ll also discuss what to do about this unprecedented stress. Because, unlike past generations, we have more formalized options.
Recent research has highlighted the significant stress faced by parents in the United States, culminating in a public health advisory issued by U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy on August 28, 2024. This advisory emphasizes that parental stress has reached alarming levels, leading to calls for systemic changes to support parents better.
Key Findings from the 2024 Advisory About Parent Stress
High Levels of Stress:
The advisory indicates that 33% of parents reported high stress levels in the past month, compared to 20% of non-parents. Furthermore, 48% of parents stated that they often feel completely overwhelmed, a stark contrast to 26% of other adults.
Increased Responsibilities:
Parents today are juggling more work hours alongside increased childcare responsibilities than in previous decades. This dual burden diminishes the quality time they can spend with their families and affects their mental health.
Cultural Pressures:
The advisory notes a pervasive “culture of comparison,” often exacerbated by social media, where parents feel pressured to meet unrealistic standards. This contributes to feelings of inadequacy and shame, further compounding stress levels.
Impact on Children:
The mental health of parents is directly linked to the well-being of their children. Research indicates that children are more likely to experience behavioral and mental health issues when their primary caregivers are under significant stress.
Recommendations for Support
The advisory outlines several crucial shifts needed to alleviate parental stress:
- Recognition of Parenting as Work: It calls for societal acknowledgment of parenting as a vital role deserving of equal respect and resources as paid employment.
- Policy Changes: The Surgeon General advocates for a national paid family and medical leave policy, enhanced childcare support, and flexible work arrangements to help parents manage their responsibilities better.
- Community and Employer Support: Increased community involvement and employer initiatives, such as mental health resources and childcare programs, are essential to support parents effectively.
- Open Discussions: Encouraging parents to speak openly about their challenges can help reduce feelings of isolation and shame, fostering a culture of connection and support among caregivers.
The advisory from the Surgeon General serves as a critical reminder of the mental health challenges parents face today. It calls for a concerted effort from society, employers, and policymakers to provide the necessary support to enhance the well-being of parents, which in turn, benefits the health and development of children. Guess what? This is exactly what Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO was founded for.
Evolving Expectations of Parenting in a Changing Community Landscape
The landscape of parenting has dramatically shifted in recent years, placing unprecedented demands on caregivers. As informal community structures have eroded, parents find themselves increasingly isolated and solely responsible for their children’s development and entertainment. Gone are the days when kids could freely roam the neighborhood, finding their own adventures and social connections. Today’s parents feel pressured to constantly engage, stimulate, and supervise their children, often at the expense of their own well-being. This heightened expectation for parental involvement extends beyond mere supervision; there’s now an implicit demand for parents to be ever-present playmates, educators, and activity coordinators. The rise of social media has only intensified this pressure, showcasing picture-perfect moments of engaged parenting that set unrealistic standards. As a result, many parents find themselves exhausted and overwhelmed, struggling to balance these intensified expectations with their own needs and responsibilities.
Parenting is HARD.
We know that generationally, behaviors and social norms often swing from one side of the pendulum or the other. Some of us find ourselves in the middle. But, generally speaking, social changes tend to occur when enough people are frustrated, hurt, or fed up with the way things have been. So, it is understandable that a generation who felt more cast aside or fit into the box of “children should be seen and not heard” (or not even seen) will then become the generation of “helicopter” and even “snow-plow parents”. Absolutely no shade to any of these generations…we are ALL doing the best we can with the information we have at the time. Parenting is HARD. I don’t care who you are, what resources you have, or how desperately you wanted to be a parent in the first place. It is HARD.
Our World Doesn’t Support Healthy Balance
So, how did we get where we are? Again, the research would indicate that the demands, expectations, and informal supports have gotten out of balance. The economy is playing a major factor as well. Both out of desire and necessity, there are more multiple income households these days. And, some of us who may have traditionally not been involved in the workforce even have multiple income streams or jobs. This isn’t always a bad thing, especially when this is what makes the most sense for your family. However, it is also true that this is out of balance with the rising expectations for how we have to keep kids engaged and entertained 24/7.
Practical Tips for Managing Modern Parenting Pressures
While the challenges of modern parenting are fully overwhelming, there are practical steps you can take to alleviate stress and create a more balanced family life. By shifting your perspective and implementing some simple strategies, you can navigate the complexities of contemporary parenting with greater ease and confidence. Here are some actionable tips to help you manage the pressures of parenting in today’s world:
Redefine “Quality Time”
- Focus on meaningful interactions rather than constant entertainment
- Embrace everyday moments like cooking or chores as opportunities for connection
Foster Independence
- Allow children age-appropriate freedoms to explore and problem-solve
- Resist the urge to over-schedule or micromanage their activities
Build Your Village
- Seek out local parent groups or community organizations
- Arrange playdates or childcare swaps with neighboring families
- Utilize online communities for support and advice
Set Realistic Expectations
- Recognize that “perfect parenting” is a myth
- Focus on your family’s unique needs rather than societal pressures
Create Screen-Free Zones
- Designate times and spaces free from digital distractions
- Model healthy technology habits for your children
Prioritize Self-Care
- Schedule regular “me time” for relaxation or hobbies.
- Don’t feel guilty about taking breaks from constant child engagement. We mean it.
Embrace Boredom
- Allow children unstructured time to develop creativity and self-reliance
- Resist the pressure to constantly provide entertainment or activities
Cultivate Family Rituals
- Establish simple, regular traditions that don’t require extensive planning
- Use these moments to strengthen family bonds without added stress
Start Therapy for Moms in St. Louis, MO
Let me be clear, if this was a simple fix, everyone would be doing it already. So, let me say that this is not going to be solved in one blog post. One day. One week. What I am hoping you can take away from this are feelings of validation and support. The opportunity to exhale knowing that you are not alone and doing nothing wrong. Finally, I hope you will feel equipped to try a few things that might work well for your family. By implementing these strategies, St. Louis area parents can work towards a more balanced approach to parenting that aligns with their values and reduces stress, while still providing children with the support and engagement they need.
Need more support? Consider starting therapy for moms for help from a therapist in Ballwin, MO serving West County, Chesterfield, O’Fallon, Wentzville, and beyond via online therapy in Missouri. We are here to help you and your family thrive!
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Counseling services are designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life.
St. Louis
Our St. Louis team of therapists has a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Our practice also helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
Chicago
Our Chicago team of therapists offers a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their lives. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we specialize in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.
