Hi there, readers! I’m Skyler Martin, a West County therapist at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO. Today we’re addressing a tough topic: your relationship with substances. I know it can be a hard one to address, but like so many things in life–and in therapy!–facing hardship is often how to come out better, stronger, and happier on the other side.
I hear a lot in my counseling sessions, which are often with individuals struggling to get or stay sober, or in sessions where my client is the partner of someone who struggles with substances, about a variety of challenges people experience that often interfere with consistency to stay sober. And I just want to take some time to address some of the most common reasons I hear. This might help you realize you’re not alone in the challenge you’re experiencing, or can encourage you to start therapy. I’m here and ready to help!
5 Reasons You Are Struggling to Stay Sober in STL
Many well-intended and motivated individuals seek to leave behind unhealthy relationships to alcohol, nicotine, cannabis, or a variety of other substances, only to find themselves returning amidst the stressors of daily life. If you are wondering why reinventing your relationship with substances has been so difficult, consider if one of the following may be an unaddressed factor in your journey towards recovery.
Co-occurring Mental Health Disorders
For many people, their drug of choice is not the problem, but a solution to the problem. Anxiety, depression, untreated ADHD, or unresolved trauma are all overwhelming experiences for which alcohol or drugs are a ready solution. Substance use often works in the short-term to provide relief from uncomfortable internal experiences but corrodes mental health, physical wellness, and personal relationships in the long-term. By seeking out therapy to treat underlying mental health struggles, the drive to “medicate” your emotional suffering can be reduced drastically.
You Have No Reason to Stay Sober
Perhaps you feel the pressure to sober up for a loved one, friend, or close relative. You might even notice that your substance use is negatively impacting your work, finances, and hobbies. All of these can certainly serve extrinsic motivators. But the most effective way to sustain your recovery amidst life’s ups and downs is to locate both extrinsic and intrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation comes from working toward a goal or actualizing values that are inherently important to you.
In simpler terms, you have to find your WHY. What is it that you most want to be remembered for? What are your deepest dreams? Who is the person that you most want to become? In answering these questions, you can begin to locate your deepest values and utilize the cleanest fuel to burn on your recovery journey: intrinsic motivation.
You Are Trying to Walk Someone Else’s Path Toward Recovery
There are many roads to recovery from substance abuse. 12-step models, SMART recovery groups, psychotherapy, group therapy, and inpatient treatment are all completely valid and effective ways to grow beyond addiction. But they don’t all work for everyone. Perhaps you’ve been committed to a particular path because it was most accessible when you decided to get sober or because someone close to you insists that it works.
I once worked with someone who had gone through the 12 steps of AA multiple times and experienced immense guilt that they still abused alcohol. When they were able to switch to a cognitive-behavioral SMART model for recovery, they began to flourish! Likewise, you can talk to a member of any 12-step group that will assure you that the steps have saved their life! If you are struggling to sustain your sobriety, you may need to explore a different path (or set of paths) that can be more effective for your unique needs.
You Have No Recovery Management Plan
Though you might have made the decision to quit using drugs or alcohol, you haven’t implemented a relapse prevention or recovery management plan. Human society (and psychology) thrives and develops within a well-defined structure. By planning out how you will handle triggers, who you will call on bad days, and what coping strategies you will use in times of stress, you set yourself up for success. If you find that relapse has become a regular occurrence, it might be time to take a step back and make a detailed plan with a sponsor, friend, or therapist.
You’re Telling Yourself a Negative Story
We interact with the world based on our deepest beliefs about ourselves, others, and the future. If the story you are constantly telling yourself involves unhelpful beliefs such as, “It’s impossible to quit drinking,” or, “things will never get better,” it’s likely that you’ll interpret daily events through those unhelpful beliefs and in doing so, confirm them as true.
Put more simply, we tell ourselves a story and then live that story out. If you are struggling to find momentum in recovery, it may be that you are engaging in negative beliefs and telling yourself unhelpful stories that lead toward relapse. Working alongside a narrative therapist or cognitive behavioral therapist can help you form new and more helpful beliefs and create a story that you’re excited to live.
Start Substance Abuse and Recovery Counseling in St. Louis
Though finding recovery from substance abuse is difficult, it’s certainly possible! Seeing a mental health professional to address underlying mental health needs, identify core values, and craft a recovery management plan can make the journey even more manageable. Substance abuse and recovery counseling in our West County, MO therapy office is easy and convenient. If you’d prefer to do online therapy in Missouri from wherever you are in the state, that’s fine too! Reach out today to get started with me. I’m part of the team at Marble Wellness, with years of experience working in the substance abuse field. I’m ready to work with you to overcome the challenges you’re experiencing.
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Additional Counseling Services at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO and Chicago, IL
Counseling services are designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life.
St. Louis
Our St. Louis team of therapists has a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Our practice also helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
Chicago
Our Chicago team of therapists offers a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their lives. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we specialize in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.
