There’s a lot of incorrect representation of what therapy is, thanks to many books and movies that didn’t get it right. This means that when some men think about therapy, they think it’s all about crying and blaming your parents. Many are especially turned off by the idea of going into an office to talk about their feelings for an hour a week.
But therapy is important, and it’s so much more than crying and complaining. Don’t let misconceptions about therapy keep you from trying it out. This blog talks about the three major misconceptions many men have about therapy and gives you facts about what therapy is, why it’s useful, and where you can find a therapist in St. Louis.
Here are the three major misconceptions men have about therapy from a St Louis, MO Therapist:
1. I don’t need therapy
Many people think this, no matter their gender. But everyone benefits from therapy. We go to the doctor a few times a year to maintain our bodies; why shouldn’t we go to a therapist to check in on our brains and emotions? It’s much easier to prevent a problem than to fix one. But many men don’t give their minds and feelings the care they need, so they fall victim to this myth about therapy being unnecessary.
Some think that they’re doing just fine, and others know they’re not doing fine but they think they can manage their mental health without help. They don’t need therapy; they can work or exercise or garden or relax more and everything will be fine. It’s not true though. Everyone needs an emotional outlet, and a therapist is a great option. They are non-judgmental, confidential, and it’s their job to help.
Men are actually more likely to die by suicide than women, largely because they don’t feel comfortable talking about their struggles. So many men stuff their feelings down because they’re afraid to talk about them. But it’s so important to have someone to reach out to when things are hard. Depression and anxiety happen to every gender, and they should be taken seriously. Having a therapist means that you have someone on your side when things get hard. That’s a valuable resource. There’s nothing wrong with creating a space where you feel comfortable talking about what’s on your mind.
2. My therapist will tell me what to do
No one really likes to be bossed around. Men are especially used to being leaders in the workplace or at home, so the idea of going to therapy where someone else calls the shots is really unnerving. They’re often afraid that they’ll have to change habits they like or start doing tasks they hate. They think they’ll have to open every wound they have whether they’re ready or not, because that’s what you do in therapy.
But a therapist is there to follow your lead. A therapist isn’t a doctor; they’re not there to prescribe good mental health. A therapist will help you figure out what *you* want to change and how best to do that. If you’re not ready to talk about something, you don’t have to. They’re there for you, and they’ll work on your timeline. As one therapist said, it’s more like having a consultant than a doctor. You hire them to listen, give some input, but in the end, they’re going to follow your lead and support you while you figure out what you want to handle and how you’re going to handle it.
3. Going to therapy makes me weak
Therapy is feelings and crying, and only people who are really messed up have therapists. This is the way a lot of people think. A lot of men think if they go to therapy, it’s because they were too weak to handle their problems. We have a bad case of ‘bootstrap syndrome’ in this country, where we preach the idea that you must do everything by yourself and it’s terrible to ask for help. Men get this blasted at them from a young age. When this gets combined with the idea that ‘real men’ don’t cry or show emotions, therapy looks really unappealing.
But we don’t call people weak for taking care of themselves. If you break your leg and refuse to go to the doctor, people actually judge you a little. If your car starts making weird noises and you keep driving until it breaks down, your mechanic isn’t impressed. Taking care of your mental health is sort of the same, except your therapist won’t judge you or roll their eyes. But we take care of our bodies and our possessions, so it shouldn’t be considered weak to take care of our minds. You might have grown up with the message that therapy makes you weak, but it’s strong and brave to get help. If you’re reading this page, you’re already being brave by starting to learn more about your options. Take pride in this proactive behavior.
Therapy benefits people from all genders, and the therapists at Marble Wellness are here to help people find healing.
If you’re a man living in St. Louis, and you have the courage to start the journey towards better mental health, we urge you to give us a call. It will feel vulnerable and scary, but we’ve been helping people from St. Louis find new and better ways to live their lives for years, and we want to help you too.
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Additional Counseling Services at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO and Chicago, IL
Counseling services designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life.
St. Louis
Our St. Louis team of therapists have a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. We can also help new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
Chicago
Our Chicago team of therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their life. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we are specialized in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.
