The holidays can be difficult for anyone, but people with depression may find them particularly challenging. You might feel sad or anxious, or experience physical symptoms such as headaches, nausea, and stomach pain. You may have low energy, trouble sleeping or concentrating on daily tasks. You might get frustrated because you just want to not feel bad during this part of the year. As much as we wish, depression doesn’t just take a break when it’s convenient.
There are ways to manage your depression during the holidays. If you practice self-care and use your resources and support systems, you can move through this difficult season, care for your mental health, and hopefully find the parts of the holidays that still bring you some joy.
Avoid Alcohol And Sedatives:
Some people use substances to cope with their depression. It’s understandable; the holidays are hard and it’s so tempting to numb out the pain by drinking or using. But these can make you feel worse. They don’t get rid of the sadness; they just hide it. And while you’ve been pushing it down, your depression’s been doing push-ups and waiting to jump back in. It’s hard but letting yourself feel your feelings is a much healthier option.
Don’t Accept Every Invitation:
You’re not a bad person for saying no to invitations. You can’t be expected to attend every event. You don’t owe anyone anything and it’s okay if you need some time alone or with your family and friends instead of at an awkward social gathering where you don’t really know anyone. Don’t burn out your mental battery just for the sake of being polite. If a gathering doesn’t align with your current emotional needs, don’t go.
Seek Support:
It’s important to reach out for the support you need from family members, friends, and professionals. You can also join a group or seek out a faith leader. Whatever support systems you have in place, this is the time to use them. You aren’t going to do yourself or them any favors by pretending to be happy and not being honest about how you’re feeling. Your people want to be there for you; let them.
You can also seek professional support through a therapist, religious leader (if that’s your thing), or even a psychiatrist or doctor if you need medication to help you. There is no shame in accepting help when you’re not feeling well.
Look Outward:
When you volunteer or do other services, you are likely to be surrounded by other people who care about the same things as you do. This can help you feel connected to your community and like your life has meaning. It can also serve as a healthier distraction if you feel like you’re spiraling, since it creates momentum and connection.
Focus On What’s Most Important To You:
Depression can sap our strength. So when there’s so much going on, like during the holidays, it’s easy to become depleted. You could easily burn all your energy on doing things you don’t really care about. Or you may spend your time at office parties and then not be able to hang out with friends.
Acknowledge that you’re working with limited reserves and center your schedule around the parts of the holiday season you value most. If you’re not a big shopper, make your gifts at home or don’t do gifts at all. If you most enjoy the time with your immediate or found family, focus on making that happen rather than planning a bunch of holiday parties you feel like you have to attend. It’s okay to prioritize your needs around what *you* want; you shouldn’t burn yourself out by accommodating everyone else but yourself.
Give A Gift Of Your Time Or Talent:
If you have a hard time with gifts around the holidays, re-conceptualize what a gift is. Do you make awesome cookies? Give everyone a batch. If you’re really handy, offer to come over and help someone with a repair when it’s summer. If animals are helping your depression, offer to pet-sit for them a few times throughout the year. This is a good way to feel like you’re participating in a way that feels authentic for you, but it doesn’t involve engaging in an activity that contributes to your depression. It also lets you schedule gifts in the future, when you might be feeling better and more able to engage with people.
The holidays can be a tough time for anyone dealing with depression. Just remember that it’s okay if you don’t feel like celebrating or participating in all the festivities. It doesn’t mean you’re broken or being a ‘party pooper’. Doing the holidays in a way that matches the energy you have available means you’re doing the holidays in a healthy way and honoring your needs.
Your mental health is important, and it deserves to be cared for just like any other part of your body. If you’re struggling with depression during this time of year, reach out to us at Marble Wellness. Our team of therapists are ready to walk with you through the challenging seasons in your life so that you feel supported. We will match you with someone who can help you deal with your feelings and create coping strategies for the tough times. You can contact us through our website. We are here, ready to support you in whatever ways you need.
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