Hello, and welcome! We’re glad to spend the next few reading (or let’s be honest: scrolling) minutes with you.
You’ve made it to this page probably because you’re considering marriage counseling or couples therapy in St. Louis or because you just have a feeling things could be a little bit better in the relationship with your partner, and you want to find ways to improve.
We get it! Not only as therapists who work with couples but as humans in relationships, also.
So, let’s just start with the honest truth: Relationships can be incredible sources of joy, but they can also present us with challenges. Big challenges. Hard challenges.
These challenges are a natural part of any partnership, and they don’t mean your relationship is failing. In fact, they can be opportunities for growth and improvement. That’s where couples counseling comes in.
As a mental health therapist, I’ve seen firsthand the transformative power of couples counseling. In this blog, we’ll explore the success of couples counseling and what makes it effective. It’s my hope that by the end of this article, you’ll have a better understanding of how couples therapy can help you and your partner thrive in your relationship.
Understanding the Purpose of Couples Counseling
Couples counseling, also known as couples therapy, marriage therapy, or relationship counseling, is a form of psychotherapy designed to help couples identify and resolve conflicts and improve their overall relationship. Contrary to common misconceptions, couples therapy isn’t just for couples on the brink of divorce. It’s a valuable tool for any couple looking to strengthen their bond and navigate the ups and downs of life together.
Couples might start couples therapy during any of the following times:
- When they start dating.
- Before getting married (also called premarital counseling)
- After having a baby
- When you’ve started to “just feel like roommates”
- When separation or divorce has come up
- When there’s been an uptick in conflict
- After a major life change, like a new job, a move, or the death of a family or friend
- Many other times you are just looking to “level up”!
But what makes couples counseling actually work?
What about the process lends itself to success that makes it better than:
- Reading a relationship book
- Listening to some podcasts
- ”Just trying to do better.”
Listen, those all have their place and time, but the relationship therapy tool has some unique elements that contribute to its success:
Key Components of Effective Couples Counseling
1. A Safe and Non-Judgmental Space for Couples:
One of the first things you’ll notice in couples counseling is the safe and non-judgmental space it provides. It’s a place where both partners can express their thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of criticism or blame. The therapist is in the room for the relationship, and that just flows from their being. We’re not there to “pick a side”, or to scold anyone. We’re here to listen, be a mediator, sometimes act as a translator, and bridge the gap between both parties until you’re able to do that together, without me in the room.
2. Effective Relationship Communication Skills:
Communication is the cornerstone of any successful relationship. In therapy, couples learn to communicate more effectively, listen actively, and express themselves honestly but respectfully. Sometimes that happens in the session, sometimes it’s homework for afterward. But human communication is hard! Working with an expert can provide invaluable insight and methods that can make the world of difference you’re looking for!
Here are some tips we generally recommend to get started in this arena.
3. Conflict Resolution in Relationships:
Conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. Couples counseling equips you with tools to resolve conflicts in a healthy way, focusing on finding solutions rather than assigning blame. In fact, we recently wrote a blog on some healthy conflict resolution tips. In therapy, you can learn how to tailor these for implementation in your own relationship and learn additional tools, as well.
4. Identifying and Changing Negative Patterns as a Couple:
Often, couples fall into negative patterns of interaction that can erode their connection. In therapy, these patterns are identified and replaced with healthier alternatives. I can tell you: it can be hard sometimes to detect these patterns yourself. But a therapist can sometimes cut right to it. It’s helpful to have another person even identify what the patterns are, but then give actual helpful tips to substitute and elevate.
5. Building Emotional Connection in Relationships:
Emotional intimacy is a vital aspect of a strong relationship. Couples therapy helps partners reconnect emotionally and rebuild trust and intimacy.
The Success Stories of Couples Counseling
Let’s explore a few scenarios where couples counseling has made a significant difference:
1. Reigniting the Spark in Your Relationship:
We hear this a lot. And it makes sense! Kids, aging parents, job demands….they all take time, energy, mental space, and more. So, over time, couples may feel like the initial spark has dimmed. Through counseling, couples can rediscover their passion and find new ways to connect intimately.
2. Recovery from Infidelity:
Infidelity can be devastating, but with the right guidance, couples can heal and rebuild trust. Couples therapy provides a structured environment for addressing the complex emotions surrounding infidelity.
3. Effective Co-Parenting:
For couples with children, navigating co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be challenging. Couples counseling can help parents communicate and cooperate effectively for the well-being of their children.
4. Navigating Life Transitions as a Couple:
Major life transitions, such as career changes, relocation, or loss, can strain a relationship. Couples therapy assists partners in adjusting to these changes and maintaining their connection.
5. Preventing Relationship Burnout:
Even happy relationships can benefit from couples counseling as a preventive measure. Learning how to manage stress and conflicts can help maintain a strong, thriving partnership.
What to Expect in Couples Counseling
During your first sessions of couples counseling, you can expect to discuss your relationship history, current challenges, and goals. Your therapist will work with you to identify areas of improvement and develop a treatment plan tailored to your unique needs.
Therapy sessions may involve individual or joint sessions, depending on your specific concerns. The therapist will provide guidance, teach coping strategies, and offer tools to enhance your relationship. Homework assignments and exercises may also be part of the process to reinforce what you learn in sessions.
The Takeaway: Thriving Through Couples Counseling
Couples counseling is not a sign of weakness or failure; it’s a testament to your commitment to your relationship’s success. It’s a safe and supportive environment where you and your partner can learn valuable skills to improve your relationship, strengthen your emotional connection, and navigate life’s challenges together.
Remember that every relationship is unique, and the effectiveness of couples counseling can vary from one couple to another. However, the willingness to invest in your relationship and seek professional guidance is a significant step toward growth and happiness together.
About the Author
Cara Peroutka is a dedicated therapist specializing in children, mothers, and couples. Her unique talent lies in forming strong connections with clients, and creating safe spaces for transformative change. With a background as a former MOPS group leader, Cara brings unparalleled insight into working with mothers, including teen moms. Her holistic and client-centered approach empowers clients to do amazing work in their therapeutic journey, making her a compassionate advocate for their well-being.
If you live in St. Louis and are ready to improve your mental health, we are here to help.
Start Couples Therapy in St. Louis, MO
If you live in St. Louis and are ready to improve your relationship, we are here to help.
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Counseling services designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life.
St. Louis
Our St. Louis team of therapists have a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. We can also help new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri and online therapy in Illinois. No matter where you are in your journey, we would love to support you.
Chicago
Our Chicago team of therapists offer a wide range of mental health services to help our clients through the different challenges and hurdles in their life. In addition to anxiety, depression, grief, therapy for men, and maternal overwhelm, we are specialized in professional burnout, therapy for breakups, and love partnering with working moms.
