You love them. You really do.
But if you’ve walked out of a room lately and mouthed “What just happened?” to yourself—or caught your reflection mid-sigh because somehow your teenager just argued against showering—this one’s for you.
No long lectures. No “10 easy steps to peaceful parenting.” Just real-life moments that remind you that you are not, in fact, losing your mind. You’re parenting a teenager. And that’s heroic work.
The Hygiene Wars
It starts innocently enough: “Hey, bud, maybe shower before dinner?”
The expression that follows makes it clear you’ve said something outrageous. “I JUST showered,” they insist.
You pause. “…Three days ago.”
“Why are you obsessed with my hygiene?! It’s MY body!”
You want to say, “Because you smell like a raccoon trapped in a gym bag.” But you take the higher road. “Okay, just please wash your hands after using the bathroom.”
“With soap?” they reply, aghast.
If you know, you know.
Corrected to Death
You’re running late. You yell, “Everyone, grab your shoes!”
From across the room, a voice you hadn’t heard in two hours: “They’re sandals.”
Thank you. Truly. What would you do without that contribution?
You try again: “Everyone grab your… whatever goes on your feet.”
Cue the sigh of a teen who’s never been so misunderstood.
Theater Kid Energy, All Day, Every Day
They want independence, privacy, and to make their own choices. But if the Wi-Fi lags for five seconds, it’s the end of the world.
You ask them to unload the dishwasher, and suddenly they’re in a one-person show titled “No One Else Has to Do This.”
Tears fall. Arms fling. And there you are—still just trying to get forks back in the drawer.
The Passive-Aggressive Olympics
You ask them to take out the trash.
They say nothing. Blink. And then… move, slowly. Each step is a protest.
The trash bag hits the bin with all the drama of a soap opera finale. You almost clap. “Best Performance in the Category of Helping But Hating It.”
Gold medal, obviously.
They Drank the Last Juice Box (And Somehow It’s Your Fault)
They open the fridge. “There’s nothing to eat.” (There is.)
You list options. Leftovers. Yogurt. Fruit.
“I’m not eating THAT.”
Ten minutes later: the last juice box is gone.
You mention it. They respond, “I thought no one wanted it.”
You say you did.
“Well, you didn’t SAY that.”
Touché, counselor.
The Whiplash of Love
They storm out of the room with a statement like “You ruin everything!”
Five minutes later, they reappear: “Wanna watch a show?” They even want to cuddle up together.
You’re still emotionally recovering, but your heart melts anyway.
Because yes, of course you want to. Love does the wildest things to the nervous system.
The Phone That’s Glued to Them…Until You Text
They’re scrolling nonstop. Laughing. Responding to every meme in seconds.
You text: “Can you bring up the laundry basket?”
Crickets.
Ask them in person, and you get, “I didn’t see it!”
You resist the urge to print out the text and frame it as art titled Modern Parenting at Its Finest.
The Closet Is Overflowing, But Somehow…
They stand, surveying their room—piles of laundry, drawers spilling over.
“I literally have nothing to wear.”
You suggest yesterday’s jeans.
“Ew, those are MID.”
You smile politely while Googling “what does MID mean.”
The Genius Moment Immediately Followed by “What?!”
They share a profound, thoughtful take on empathy or justice that makes you pause—heart full, eyes misty.
And five minutes later, they’re trying to microwave a fork “just to see what happens.”
You remember the frontal lobe is still under construction. Deep breaths.
Selective Hearing: The Olympic Edition
You call, “Dinner’s ready!”
Nothing.
Louder. Still nothing.
But whisper to your partner, “We should cut their data plan…”
Instantly: “WHAT?! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”
Ah, so the hearing works when it matters. Noted.
The Reusable Cup Graveyard
You’ve bought them the cute tumblers. The fancy water bottles. You’ve labeled and washed them. And yet—seven mysterious cups appear under their bed, each holding various shades of science experiment.
You ask gently, “Can you bring these down?”
“Ugh, Mom, I was gonna do it.”
Sure. Any day now.
If You Know, You Know
This season of parenting comes with whiplash, joy, heartbreak, and laughter—often all before lunch.
Some days, you miss who they used to be.
Some days, you glimpse who they’re becoming, and your heart could burst.
And some days, you wonder if you’re the one who’s losing it.
You’re not. You’re just raising a teenager.
And that, friend, is an act of bravery.
A Note from Marble Wellness
At Marble Wellness, we see you—navigating parenting with humor, patience, and the occasional “What just happened?” moment. Whether your teen’s emotional rollercoaster has left you feeling burned out or disconnected, our therapists are here to help you find your footing again.
Through parent therapy, family sessions, or counseling for moms of teens, we help St. Louis–area families (from Ballwin to Lake St. Louis to Chesterfield) find more calm, insight, and connection in the chaos.
Because sometimes, the best self-care for a mom of teens isn’t perfection—it’s permission to exhale and laugh through the madness.
Ready to take your next brave step?
Reach out to Marble Wellness today to connect with a therapist who understands the season you’re in.
Let’s help you breathe easier, laugh more often, and remember: you’re not alone in this.
Start Therapy for Teens and Parents in the St. Louis Area
If you live in the St. Louis metro area and are ready to improve your mental health, our expert St. Louis therapists are here to help. Not only do we have a team of therapists in Ballwin, MO, but we have also recently expanded to serve the Lake St. Louis and Wentzville area! Reach out to our Client Care Coordinator today to discuss your therapy options, both in-person and via online therapy in Missouri.
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Marble Wellness Counseling services are designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life. Our St. Louis area therapists have a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We have child and play therapists, therapists for teens, EMDR therapists, men’s mental health experts, couples therapists, and more! We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, trauma & PTSD, life transitions, and maternal overwhelm. Our practice also specifically helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri. No matter where you are in your journey, we are here to help you thrive!
