The holiday season is often painted as a time of pure joy, family gatherings, and festive celebrations. There are twinkling lights, familiar holiday songs, and an almost universal sense of excitement as the year comes to an end. But for those living with chronic illness, the holidays can feel like a double-edged sword. While everyone else seems to be full of energy and joy, you might be facing the daunting task of just making it through the day—let alone keeping up with holiday traditions.
If you live with a chronic condition, you know that managing your energy, pain, and emotional well-being is a 24/7 job. Add in the pressures of the holiday season, and things can feel overwhelming. But you’re not alone. I am a mental health therapist in St. Louis, MO, and I want to talk about some of the unique challenges that come with navigating the holidays while managing a chronic illness. We’ll share some tips on how to handle this struggle, and offer a few words of encouragement for when it feels like too much.
The Pressure of “Holiday Cheer” and the Reality of Chronic Illness
We all know what the holidays are “supposed” to look like, right? Picture-perfect moments around a dinner table, elaborate holiday parties, and endless rounds of baking, shopping, and decorating. But when you live with a chronic illness, the energy needed to keep up with those expectations simply isn’t there. The pressure to “put on a happy face” and pretend like everything is okay can feel like an extra layer of emotional weight to carry.
On top of that, chronic conditions don’t take a holiday break. Whether it’s fatigue, physical pain, or managing medication, your health doesn’t pause just because there’s a holiday party or a family gathering to attend. And it’s easy to feel like you’re letting others down if you’re not able to show up or fully participate.
But here’s the thing: you’re not letting anyone down by prioritizing your health. Your well-being is the most important gift you can give to yourself and your loved ones during the holidays (and always). If you’re reading this and thinking, “But I still feel guilty…” I get it. It’s hard not to. But I want you to know it’s okay to put yourself first, even during this hectic season.
Practical Strategies for Holiday Wellness
Living with a chronic illness during the holidays doesn’t mean you have to miss out on the joy and warmth of the season. It’s about finding a balance that works for you and your health needs. While it may require some adjustments and creative thinking, there are several practical strategies you can employ to navigate the holidays more comfortably. Let’s explore some tips that can help you manage your chronic illness while still participating in the festivities in ways that feel good to you.
Tip 1: Set Realistic Expectations (For Yourself and Others)
The first step to handling the holiday season with a chronic illness is to set realistic expectations—both for yourself and the people around you. You’re not required to attend every holiday party, cook a huge meal, or participate in every tradition. It’s okay to scale back.
Communicate your needs with those closest to you. Let them know how you’re feeling and what you are realistically able to do. You might say, “I’m going to come to the family gathering, but I might need to leave early to rest,” or, “I’m not feeling up to hosting this year, but I’d love to contribute in a smaller way.”
Sometimes, we hold onto the idea that we need to do it all, but giving yourself permission to slow down and do what you can do, rather than what you think you should do, can make a huge difference.
Tip 2: Plan for Rest and Recovery
When you’re living with chronic illness, rest is essential—and during the holidays, it’s important to plan for it just as much as you plan for any other activity. If you know that certain events or activities are going to drain your energy, make sure you’ve set aside time for recovery.
This might mean building in a rest day after a holiday event or planning shorter visits rather than staying for the entire day. Be mindful of your limits and give yourself permission to take breaks, even during holiday gatherings. You can find a quiet room to rest in or step outside for a moment to recharge. Your body needs it, and there’s no shame in that.
Tip 3: Reframe the Holidays
The holidays don’t have to look like they do in the movies or on social media. If traditional holiday activities feel too draining, you can reframe the season to make it work for you. Maybe instead of cooking a big meal, you order takeout or make a simpler dish. Instead of traveling long distances, you can connect with loved ones through a video call.
Focus on what brings you comfort and joy—whether that’s watching your favorite holiday movie from the couch, having a small gathering with a couple of close friends, or simply taking time to rest and reflect. The holidays are about connection and love, and those things can happen in small, gentle ways that honor where you are physically and emotionally.
For teens and younger individuals facing chronic illness, teen chronic illness therapy can offer guidance on finding these moments of joy and navigating the holiday season with a supportive mindset. Therapy can provide tools for managing both physical symptoms and the emotional toll they take during such a socially demanding time.
Tip 4: Lean on Your Support System
Sometimes, it can feel like you have to handle everything on your own, but that’s simply not true. You have people in your life who care about you and want to help. Don’t be afraid to lean on them, whether that’s asking for help with shopping, decorating, or even just having someone to talk to when things feel hard.
Chronic illness can feel isolating, but opening up to trusted friends or family members can help lighten that burden. You don’t have to go through this season alone.
“My Chronic Illness Rules My Life”: Words of Encouragement for the Holidays
I know that living with chronic illness during the holidays can be incredibly difficult. It’s easy to feel left out, frustrated, or overwhelmed. But I want you to remember that you are doing an amazing job just by showing up for yourself, day after day. You are strong, even when you feel weak, and your worth is not determined by how much you can accomplish during the holiday season.
Give yourself permission to feel however you’re feeling—whether that’s joy, frustration, sadness, or relief—and know that all of those emotions are valid. Take things one day at a time, and trust that you are enough, exactly as you are.
Start Chronic Illness Therapy in St. Louis
This holiday season may look different from others, but it can still be meaningful in its own way. Honor your limits, take care of yourself, and remember that you are deserving of love, support, and joy—no matter what your journey looks like. If you live in St. Louis and are ready to improve your mental health, we are here to help. Our skilled STL chronic illness therapists are happy to help you navigate the challenges and prioritize your needs.
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Additional Counseling Services at Marble Wellness in St. Louis, MO
Counseling services are designed to help set you on a path of living a more fulfilled, calm, and happy life. Our incredible team of STL based therapists has a variety of training backgrounds and areas of expertise. We specialize in anxiety, depression, grief, chronic illness, therapy for men, couples, and maternal overwhelm. Our practice also helps new moms with various postpartum concerns, moms in the thick of parenting, and moms with teens. We can also chat from wherever you are in the state with online therapy in Missouri. No matter where you are in your mental health journey, we would love to support you.
